Confession – I really likeJersey Shore. I’ve been watching it since those loveable stereotypes popped up on MTV. Some say it signals the end of American society…well, to them I say, wouldn’t you want a front-row seat to the end of the Roman Empire? So when someone told me about Geordie Shore, the British equivalent of MTV’s STD-tastic reality show, I was intrigued. Terrible people…in England! Sign me up.
No. Geordie Shore managed to get the reactions so many people I knew were getting from Jersey Shore from me. THIS was an insufferable show. Why, I can’t explain in words beyond “ultimate shitheads, all of them,” but I feel that’s all I need. My opinion of England, Newcastle and MTV’s European branch all changed for the (much) worse.
Well, MTV Europe hasn’t outdone themselves, but they have drawn a little more ire by nominating J-Pop buffoons EXILE for the MTV Europe Music Awards’ “Worldwide Act Asia Pacific” category. Facing off against the likes of Big Bang and Jay Chou, they’ll try to win some pointless award from the people behind a really bad reality TV show (still love ya Jersey!). You can vote for whoever right here, and something tells me Sia will need all the clicks you can muster.
See the logo at the top of this page? That’s the new design/slogan for the “Cool Japan” campaign, the Japanese government’s attempt to spread soft power via culture. Basically, they want Japanese media, like anime and movies and whatever whatever, to spread everywhere. Remember “Cool Britannia?” Like that, but with more One Piece.
Musically, I’m not positive who the government will push…the logical answer would be the Cars-2-approved Perfume, the illogical answer being Arashi which is what I think they did…but it doesn’t matter, because AKB48 already owns that position, at least to some degree. This week, it was announced that Jakarta will be getting an AKB48 branch, called JKT48. This, coupled with official stores in Hong Kong, Singapore and Taiwan PLUS other potential imperialistic expansion (Taiwan? Italy?), makes them the most visible Japanese music outfit going today…at least in Asia.
“Flying Get”…almost as good English as “Japan Next”…pretty much sums up AKB48′s sound because all their songs sound the same. It’s pop as an afterthought, the image of the group coming first and whatever grating Chuck-E-Cheese leftovers they can cobble together second. Yet this sells, and may very well be Japan’s most known musical export around the continent. Hold me.
The saving grace, though, is this stuff doesn’t have a chance in the Western world. Save for the persistent rumors of an AKB48-like outfit in Italy, this sort of stuff always ends up the topic of “weird Japan” columns and Gizmodo posts about CGI members. Whereas K-Pop embraced a Western-leaning sound that could potentially grab ears on that side of the world, AKB48 stick to this very lame style that won’t make an impact in places where they think a Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament is stupid as hell. Los Angeles won’t be getting an AKB theater anytime soon, and thank goodness for that.
EXILE “Rising Sun”
“Rising Sun” will work as EXILE’s “charity single,” meaning all profits made will go to help out those affected by the Tohoku disaster. In theory, I should stop right their and give all of the group a nice pat on the back for doing a nice thing. You go, EXILE!
Of course, some charity should be scrutinized. James Hadfield of Time Out Tokyo pointed out how SMAP’s SMAP AID CD only netted relief efforts five percent of an individual album sale. So yeah, this could be a little less wonderful than we think.
But still, as Hadfield notes, the sympathetic view of this sort of move is that money is going somewhere helpful, even if it’s less than you’d think so EXILE probably still earn points. More points than this typical lukewarm R&B would. Ooops! Just go donate money to a real charity so EXILE don’t get any boosts, OK?
Koda Kumi “愛を止めないで”
We yuck-up on Koda Kumi a lot here…”damn girl, you looks like horny!”…but truth be told I’d have sexually idiotic Kumi ballerinaing around in an idiot daze than serious sappy ballad-spewing Kumi any day of the week. Usually she says something stupid. Here she just bores.
TVXQ “B.U.T (BE-AU-TY)”
Lot of great details in this song, let’s do it:
1. What sounds like a tea kettle going bonkers during the verses.
2. The chorus. Everything about it.
3. But especially the way they pronounce words like “me?????” They sound like how I’d expect Marmaduke to talk…until Owen Wilson robbed me of that fantasy.
4. The underground Fight Club video huh?
5. How they add extra “T’s” to “B.U.T.” as if to spell a drawn-out “buttttttttt.”
Ayumi Hamasaki “Beloved”
The second I heard those opening piano key twinkles, I knew where we were heading. “Oh boy…a ballad,” I thought, reaching for the Ume Chu-hi serving as my writing partner for this week’s edition. Against my better judgement, I sat through the whole thing, waiting to see if anything noteworthy would happen. Nothing did. Five minutes and 20 seconds of my life…gone, just like that, cruelly snatched by Ayumi Hamasaki’s especially bland mix of “emotion” wrapped up in some violins. At least I had a traveling partner for this week’s long trip down the road of make-it-stop-now-please.
Masaharu Fukuyama “家族になろうよ fighting pose”
Can’t even work up any emotion about whatever this is. Sounds a little bit like Alphabeat’s “Fascination” minus all the fun.
Hey! Say! JUMP “Magic Power”
= (
So…these guys think they can be the Jackson Five now, do they? The 12-year-old set that buys this stuff will eat it up because they don’t know any better, but this might be the most grating thing they’ve released yet and that’s saying quite a bit. They’ve always forced these big, terrible, server-at-Applebees-quality smiles to their music before but this is like so forced happy you want to punch them in the face to make that grin go away.
Winner Of The Week – None of these jabronis, that’s for sure. Instead, let’s tackle one more song, one of much higher quality but absent from Music Station this week…
Berryz Kōbō “Aa, Yoru ga Akeru”
The fine folks at The Singles Jukebox reviewed this and gave it pretty good marks, and I agree. It’s hyperactive pop that flirts with what those great Korean groups do but importantly holds onto some of the cheese that sorta defines J-Pop (check those electro strings). Still, this song also does a whole bunch that no other Japanese pop acts would touch without a big, long stick…check the brief but boogie-tastic keyboard solo late in the song, and just the general speed of the whole thing. This is way better than anything above, and probably the best J-Pop I’ve heard since that one YUKI song.
One concern though…The Singles Jukebox crew, not well-versed in J-Pop, seem to come off as thinking all of Japan’s pop sounds like this. No gang…scroll up, that’s the stuff clogging the airwaves.
Another week of “special Music Station,” this time featuring a collection of J-Pop heavyweights. Like the past two episodes, these groups don’t necessarily have any new singles to promote so instead of go back a few months to a number we’ve already blathered about we will be diving into a special schtick this week. Given the names making up this lineup, we will be taking a listen to each group’s first hit in this edition of Station To Station. Whichever song was the first to chart at the top spot will go under the microscope. Let’s get into it!
Today it’s tough to be in Japan even one day without seeing Arashi hawking Nintendo 3DS consoles or playing weirdo games. So it’s sorta weird to think of them as once being a hot new property busting onto the scene instead of the representative act of all Japanese music to the world. Yet that was the position Arashi found themselves before the turn of the century, bursting into the J-Pop world with a single named after themselves. “Arashi” would probably end up like “I Want It That Way” in many Western nations, a pop artifact that’s aged terribly and now mostly revisited for ironic kicks. In Japan though, and especially in relation to the still-dominant Johnny’s, “Arashi” could come out today and fit right into the environment. All the cheesy touches of this song also pop up in the music of KAT-TUN, NEWS or NYC, and I’m sure similar touchstones reared their goofy heads in older SMAP singles.
Arashi themselves, though, have changed quite a bit from their 1999 debut. Today they’ve morphed into far and away the most likable (least punchable?) Johnny’s product thanks to an embrace of lightheartedness that gives their songs legitimate personality and even makes them fun at times. On “Arashi,” though, the group’s as awkward as a retainer. The early line “We are cool!” gives it away…no actual cool kid has to declare said coolness to anybody. The single sees them trying out all sorts of styles to see what works best, like trying on cliche clique outfits to see what will look best on photo day. We get straight pop, rapping and A capella (not even gonna drag in the guitar solo or the dancing, yeesh). I see why this stuff would connect with kids at the time – it’s the sonic equivalent of buck-toothed teenage confusion. I think that explains why this song remains the group’s best selling single to date.
AKB48 “River” (2009)
Some acts parachute right into wide-spread popularity from the start like Arashi, while others need a few years to figure themselves out before they find the winning scratcher ticket to fame. AKB48, though being nearly as inescapable as Arashi right now, surprisingly falls into the latter. Many other Internet writers have documented the biggie-sized group’s story before, so here’s a condensed version – dude starts a musical project in 2005 centered in otaku-Valhalla Akihabara featuring 48 young women who sing and dance nightly at a theater. Group gains popularity and, shrewdly, the performers interact heavily with their fans, adding a personal dimension to it all. AKB bides its time, releases singles and albums, and finally breaks through to national fame and Oricon’s top spot in 2009. The song to push ‘em over – “River.”
When I originally heard “River” at the time it was exploding, I declared the song terrible and other such snarky comments. Yet a media onslaught lasting a year and a half later, “River” really stands out among the group’s history. In the wake of garbage like “Heavy Rotation” and “Beginner’ (not to mention it followed “Aitakkata”), “River” might be the Akihabara group’s most left-field number. Most AKB48 singles head bob mindlessly ahead – “River” actually stomps, backed by a militaristic beat conjured up by a teenager armed with keyboards set to “bright.” It’s nothing radical for J-Pop…the chorus could be ripped from oh so many other artists…but the verses featuring heavy stepping and chanting show a rougher side for an act usually settling for the lowest-kawaii denominator.
EXILE “Real World” (2004)
Oh man this video, why don’t they make clips like this anymore? The dudes in EXILE play a game of baseball against an army of robots/guys wearing paintball masks, but instead of a traditional match the pop stars ignore all the agreed upon rules of the sport in order to go all Dragonball Z. That means one member punches the ball with his fist while another displays super reflexes in what appears to be a total rout in favor of EXILE. Just bizarre.
The song “Real World” just ends up being outright lame. EXILE actually beat Kanye to the sad-robot Auto-tune, but whereas he (and folks like Drake or Kid Cudi) used the tool to convey loneliness, this dance-heavy troupe slathers it on in a bid to have anything of interest going on. “Real World” just sorta hops along trying to sound all futuristic, but just ends up being cliche J-Pop waste.
KAT-TUN “Real Face” (2006)
Though the production value has been amped up and the group’s fashion smartened up, KAT-TUN’s debut single resembles Arashi’s first in many ways. Most prominently, “Real Face” shares the same musical insecurity “Arashi” does – KAT-TUN jump from style to style over the course of the tune, but not in an experimental way but rather a “please find one of these bits cool.” Opening with a falsetto fake-out, “Real Face” then dives into a guitar-heavy segment that imagines what nu-metal would have sounded like if Johnny’s thought of the concept first (hint: very bad). Then the more traditional pop outfits like SMAP and Arashi live in, with a few small detours into gravelly rap littering the side like roadkill. Yet Arashi’s identity crisis at least sounded tolerable – the lunk-headed guitar solos and idiotic barking make “Real World” unbearable. This ended up being the best selling single of 2006 – I’m honestly sorta surprised.
Mika Nakashima “Glamorous Sky” (2005)
Ahhhh the wonders of limitations. Mika Nakashima’s best selling single also happened to be her first, “Stars,” released in 2001. Yet I stipulated I’d be listening to the first song to hit the top of the charts for each artist…and “Stars” only made it to #3. “Glamorous Sky” made it to the peak, though, and also marked the only time in her career Nakashima reached the top spot. Stranger still, “Glamorous Sky” doesn’t really reflect her sound, which usually bends towards easy-listening balladry. This is an unabashed rock song, written for the film Nana. It clearly sounds like the sort of “rock song” one would write for a pop singer accustomed to adult contemporary, one that allows her pretty voice to stand squarely in the spotlight. Yet the actual music works well within these constraints, fuzzing out just enough and moving at a brisk rate that never makes this feel like a ballad in disguise. Way better than the VAMPS cover, that’s for sure.
Puffy “Kore Ga Watashi No Ikirumichi” (1996)
Enjoy the Teen Titans AMV above.
Maybe I’m overly cynical (me? Naaaaaah) but I just can’t imagine something as summer-breezy as “Kore Ga Watashi No Ikirumichi” taking the #1 position on the Japanese charts, not against all the polished pop-chem floating around the country. Yet Puffy did just that with this Blue Hawaii-by-way-of-girl-groups tune, a no-worries song guided by the duo’s sweet harmonies and Ventures-worthy guitar playing. They even get some dusty harmonica into this surf jam! Puffy deserve a ton more words written about them – they probably came closer than any J-Pop outfit to widespread success in America, for one – but “Kore Ga Watashi No Ikirumichi” is such a sunny jam, why waste words when you can kick back to this?
B’z “Taiyō no Komachi Angel” (1990)
A pretty inoffensive J-Rock number that, based on this live video, carries a tropical breeze. Nifty guitar work, but also nothing particularly classic here.
Social media czar Mark Zuckerberg got a new dog this week, pictured above. Yet he’s not the only one with new additions to their life! Music Station this week features a new Korean outfit amidst a bunch of established J-Pop types. But can they got more likes than Beast?
EXILE “Each Other’s Way ~旅の途中~”
In the post-AKB48 world we live in, a group featuring two main singers and a dozen-plus dancers just doesn’t feel that weird anymore. It’s strange to think that just two years ago EXILE were the gold-standard for J-Pop excess, but the video for new convoluted-titled single “Each Other’s Way ~旅の途中~” serves as a nice little reminder of how strange the group seems. I won’t even try to bullshit my way through whatever the plot of this thing is, but it takes place in some fantasy world featuring a city of clap-happy children where the members of EXILE dress as movie theater ushers and do all sorts of dances. It’s a bizarre six minutes re-imagining The Golden Compass as a vague Michael Jackson tribute.
Thing is EXILE’s music has always been surprisingly inoffensive given the waste surrounding it. At times, the group even make strong R&B imitations that do there job just fine. “Each Other’s Way ~旅の途中~” isn’t one of EXILE’s strongest moments, rather a pretty inoffensive love song where nothing really stands out all that much. Especially when paired with the ridiculous music video, this song just shuffles by, not bad or particularly good. If their music matched the wardrobe we might have more to talk about.
NYC “ユメタマゴ”
Wrote about this one last week and seven days later this still sounds like a personal hell. New this week though – a live clip! I like the weird robo-ish dance they do with their arms, very cool.
CHEMISTRY “PIECES OF A DREAM”
Little personal information for all of you – I live in Japan, but not amongst the bright lights of Tokyo or any other major metropolitan area for that matter. I live in the country, in a prefecture called Mie…for people outside of Japan, picture Indiana. For those inside Japan, feel free to laugh at me. It’s not a happening place (but great grapes!). So I was shocked to see a few months back that J-Pop duo CHEMISTRY would be performing deep within the region. I always figured such a recognizable group wouldn’t resort to touring the boonies, but I figured times must have gotten tough for CHEMISTRY. I’m glad they went and entertained the fine people of Mie, but I figured they could just do a show in Nagoya and have the electric bill paid for the next year.
Turns out my hunch had some feet – as long as you put a little faith into Wikipedia, it seems sales of CHEMISTRY’s singles have been trending down for the past few years after a stretch where the duo only knew the top 10. Now, despite having a new single, they will perform their 2001 breakthrough hit “PIECES OF A DREAM” on Music Station, possibly in an attempt to cash in on nostalgia for a time when Bratz doll were the cool new item. The song itself is a laid-back bluster of a thing, all pianos and background oohs that feel like a Saturday night spent at home. It’s interesting hearing J-Pop trying to do R&B at the start of the century because, whereas today a lot of Japanese artists try their damnedest to mimic Western sounds (and, in cases like Nishino Kana, sorta figure it out), because CHEMISTRY don’t seem to be aping anyone directly. This sounds like what you would imagine J-Pop doing R&B would, more plastic than usual but also sorta pretty in a way (vocals, in particular). Maybe this better-times plan can work after all.
Superfly “Beep!!”
Scuzzy rock-pop sung by someone who defines “scuzzy” as “having to be plugged into the wall.” This is the sorta upbeat drivel they play at fitness centers to keep people from calling it a day on the Stairmaster (“you can change your world!”).The part where the lead singer says “beep” a bunch of times in a row is sort of cool, but sadly nothing else here manages to rise above bore-rock.
2NE1 “GO AWAY”
2NE1′s the latest K-Pop band to come to Japan and instantly show just how isolated the majority of J-Pop is from the rest of the world. Originally released in September of 2010 in South Korea, “GO AWAY” sounds like a Molotov Cocktail following all the above singles. Which, well, shouldn’t be the case because 2NE1 hop on the bandwagon to so many Western pop trends on “GO AWAY” this should sound done to death not like a revelation. Those huge “Better Off Alone” synths lend this track a Euro-club feel complete with heavily manipulated vocals oh so many pop stars have embraced in the last year, but which haven’t been as welcomed by the Japanese pop place as fervently. “GO AWAY” also features actual rapping boasting legitimate punchlines (“Beyonce, Beyonce, I’m walking out on destiny” amongst others AND the use of the word “shit”). Whereas most J-Pop tends to play it safe, this 2NE1 track feels like a triumph of production, danceable but with a very very clear emotional core.
It’s also clearly a female empowerment number, hinted at by the title but also driven home by the overall feel of this song and the video. Japan at least features a fair amount of these positive jams, but I’m intrigued to see how “GO AWAY” is marketed in this country because…it’s way more direct about its message. I’m especially curious about the Japanese music video, which almost certainly will have to be changed because I can’t imagine a clip featuring domestic violence would fly on these shores. Hell, any video with a socially conscious message above a fourth-grade level “the world should live in peace!” poster board probably would rock the boat. That’s the best part about “GO AWAY” – it actually tries to tackle an issue, even while also being insanely good pop music.
(Not featured: aiko, with a song that I think is old/a cover and I can’t find online. Sorry!)
Winner Of The Week – 2NE1 by a mile…ignoring any “rah rah” messages, “GO AWAY” just sounds better than any of these J-Pop numbers.
Japan shocked Cameroon 1-0 in the World Cup the other day, pushing the country’s World Cup fever from “lukewarm” to “HOT HOT HOT.” As numerous friends have told me, not many folks here were very excited for the Japanese National Team’s trip to South Africa because they seemed to not stand much of a chance. Now…the TV talks incessantly about the team, and Japan actually has a legit shot of advancing out of the group stages.
All this football/soccer excitement also means World Cup themed pop tunes can expect a bigger surge in sales. EXILE, already selling plenty of copies of “VICTORY,” probably can count on even more money now. So too can Misia, who also has a World Cup track featured above. Like EXILE, she has chanting and a general layer of cheese covering the track. Unlike EXILE, she has whistles. May this song guide Japan to the second round.
In case you didn’t hear, a little sporting event called the World Cup begins this week in South Africa. For one month, the majority of the world will watch to see which country will emerge glorious, while also getting in arguments with Americans over them calling it “soccer” (aside…”soccer vs. football” is the stupidest language debate, even dumber than “pop vs. soda”). It’s gonna be a great month of athletic action, even if my South African friend tells me there is a 95 percent chance something horrible will happen in the host nation.
To help guide teams to victory, pop groups from nation’s going to the World Cup often record special songs for the occasion. Japan, heading to the tourney this year, gets aural help from small-nation-sized pop troupe EXILE, who have recorded a song titled “VICTORY.” The addition of an uplifting J-Pop song surely will help the Japanese side, but can it motivate them enough to advance out of a very tough group? The answer is no, the Japanese team isn’t very good and if they force a draw out of any opponent they deserve applause. But can EXILE’s song at least stand out as better than the other country’s respective Cup songs? Let’s break it down.
Japan: EXILE’s “VICTORY”
Seeing as the World Cup will be held in Africa for the first time ever and that details pretty big, a lot of these songs seem to be trying to sound vaguely “African.” Which…is flippin’ great because African music generally rules, especially the percussion. EXILE seem to be at their best when they aim at imitating a specific sound…the only other song of theirs I recall enjoying tried really hard to sound Spanish…and here they go all out. “VICTORY” sounds great because it barely resembles a typical EXILE song. Here, African percussion gets joined with Lion King-big wordless chanting and the whole affair sounds flat-out triumph. The galloping beat even manages to make up for the usual EXILE crooning. Sure, it’s an EPCOT Center take on African sounds, but even a diorama can blow your mind sometimes.
The Netherlands: Gerrit & de Kokosnoten “Holland gaat aan Kop”
I can’t find an official song for football powerhouse the Netherlands, so I consulted World Cup Song. It’s a website where anyone can submit a song for there country. This ditty by the duo (?) Gerrit & de Kokosnoten currently ranks as the top Holland-themed song and the fifth best tune overall. I can see why, as it’s really catchy. Yet it’s also kinda…like an Irish drinking song? Which would be cool if the World Cup featured games in Dublin and Cork. Unfortunately, the games happen in the southern hemisphere this year, so this track doesn’t seem particularly representative enough. Unless Amsterdam resembles Shannon a lot more than I thought.
Nephew Featuring Landsholdet “The Danish Way To Rock”
Whereas Holland’s song didn’t sound particularly Dutch, Denmark’s most-viewed World Cup song on YouTube actually features members of the Danish National Team singing. Can’t knock that. Unfortunately, despite team involvement, “The Danish Way To Rock” turns out to be “repetitively and with a little synth thrown in for good effect.” Nephew seems to be taking cues from 80s hair metal, but none of the bands who actually managed to write catchy songs that sounded great in arenas or coming out of car stereos. This sounds like sub-grade WWE theme music. Don’t hurt me Danish team!
Cameroon: Papa Africa “World Cup 2010 Song”
Sorta a stretch, as the YouTube description for this video also claims Papa Africa hails from Poland and Germany. I can’t find a better video for Cameroon…unless you want me to roll with Akon which isn’t happening…and besides this is a fun little dose of sunny pop. And he wears a Cameroon jacket! This definitely wins the group for feel-good number, all bright horns and warm guitar strumming. Papa Africa’s voice is the audio equivalent of a freshly hosed-down Slip-N-Slide, totally chill but also really fun. Not to mention his smile in the video makes all my problems dissolve in blasts of sun.
Results
Japan and EXILE win because 1.) Papa Africa’s song isn’t exclusively about Cameroon despite still being pretty bright and 2.) Japan deserves to win something this World Cup.
1. Japan
2. Cameroon
3. Denmark
4. The Netherlands
When I first arrived in Japan I spent three days in Tokyo at an orientation for my new teaching gig. I attended a workshop about Japanese pop culture in an effort to become hip to life in Japan. Following an introduction to popular Japanese television, we came to the music portion of the lecture. The very first musical group brought up was Exile. I’m paraphrasing the instructor who said they are like the Backstreet Boys with nine more members and on crack. They also, she said, were the most popular group in Japan at the time.
Exile appear on Music Station tonight, offering a great opportunity to examine this group. Don’t expect a critical study of Exile’s music – save for a few good ideas here and there, it’s your usual J-Pop boy band music with a few keyboards thrown in to make it sound “current.” Tonight will be all about trying to understand what makes Exile one of the top musical acts in Japan, one capable of moving 17 million units.
Oh, and there is apparently other music too. Hope that’s good!
8:00 – Konbanwa and welcome to Music Station. Cue the creepy English voice. Exile comes out dressed as the Secret Service…and they also get the biggest reception.
8:02 – Unlike last week, it appears this week’s entertainment has chosen to forgo sparkly sweaters and stick with pretty straightforward dress. Save for Exile looking very sharp…all 14 of them.
8:04 – Hey, remember two minutes ago when I said the people on this show were dressed relatively normal? Well, the first performer is up and she and her backing band are sporting glasses with eyes on them…sort of like those fake specs Homer wore that one time he wanted to sleep through jury duty. The artist in question is Ai Otsuka and it’s tough to pay attention to her song when her set-up is so zany…she’s surrounded by heart shaped balloons and there is a hole in the wall pouring even more of them out. It’s like the Hallmark store in February spilling out over the stage.
Oh yeah, I’m supposed to write about music. Initially lost among the cute overload of this live performance is how good this song sounds. The “Smells Like Teen Spirit” aping guitars try to sully this song, but Otsuka’s cotton candy voice adds a very sweet (yeah I just did that) touch to this song. And that chorus! Otsuka somehow stumbles on the same twee singing that pushed The La’s upwards, marred only by those guitars that should be replaced by something a lot more reserved to let Otsuka’s voice really take center stage.
(Video, which comes close to replicating the live performance, here.)
8:06 – Time for this week’s single countdown. Slash’s shitty shitty collab with the B’z lead singer clocks in at #6, proving people in Japan will buy anything if Guns ‘N’ Roses is somehow attached. There are posters all over the local convenience store hyping up the early 2010 GNR “Chinese Democracy” tour that I’m sure will be sold out.
The #1 song for the week is by…Arashi! And it has suddenly dawned on me just how insane this week’s show is because nearly every female student I teach professes their undying love for Arashi. And now they are on the same episode of Music Station. I think my student’s heads might not be able to handle all of this.
8:12 – Arashi performs their just-top-spot-minted song “マイガール.” It starts with two members sharing vocal duties above a barely there piano line that grows into a barely there orchestra. I’m surprised at how bare this track is…all the emphasis is on Arashi’s five-man harmonizing which sounds pretty. But that’s all going on with “マイガール,” and even though it’s kind of novel a mainstream act isn’t drowning there pop in all sorts of robotic bells and whistles, I wish they found a way to fit something a little more lively into the performance. They didn’t even dance! They walked around and one member stroked another dude’s chin. You’re pop stars, not indie rockers, do something.
8:19 – The terrible truth about Music Station is it’s less a live music show and more of a clip show. They’ve shown nothing but old Music Station performances for the past five minutes – I’ve heard more music from 1998 than 2009 so far tonight.
8:24 – See the time on the left? Yep, still watching highlights. But they at least tied it into tonight – they show a clip of Arashi from 1999 and they are wearing what appears to be freezer bags as shirts. Somebody thought, “if we wrap this boy band up like a ham sandwich the kids will LOVE it!” I’m glad a decade later they chose to drop the Ziplock look.
8:28 – Oh hey live music. Now on the stage is シド, who open with some vintage Green Day riffage before playing some pretty straightforward J-Rock for the rest of the time. The lead singer, to his credit, has a pretty interesting voice. At least for what I assume is a big commercial act like シド. His voice wobbles frequently, so his verses sometimes sound sort of yodeled out while the chorus to this song sounds slightly off-balance (and that’s good!). This vocal tic is the only thing going for this performance – even Arashi put on a better show, and they just did line drills.
8:33 – Nothing of remote excitement is happening on the TV, so I’ll take a minute to give シド (translated to “sid”) credit on there press photo, available on their website. It’s just the band standing beside giant buckets of paint but it’s kind of cool looking. If only they could add a little color to their music, am I right? I’ll show myself out of this point.
8:40 Is it weird my favorite song of the night comes during the commercials. A duo called Rhythem had a pretty fragile-sounding piano number. I shall investigate!
8:42 – Time for Exile! And they’ve brought the world a…Spanish ballad? Uhhhh, apparently. There is a Spanish guitar plucking away and a dancey beat running behind it while the two lead singers of the group pour there hearts out to the world (I assume, they could be singing about the lack of Mexican food in Japan for all I know). It’s the slowest song I’ve ever heard Exile do…though I’m no master of their song collection…so this is a first. The guitar saves this from being an Enrique Iglesias knock-off…or maybe it elevates it beyond a typical Enrique Iglesias song. I don’t even know, but it sounds good.
Hey, Exile get two songs! How is that fair??? This second jam boasts a much more aggressive beat, complete with some disco guitar lurking in the back. I like the singing on the verses, but the chorus (featuring an out-of-nowhere “this is so real!” piano) seems like a dissapointment after all the build up. The singing just get a little more emotional and like two extra instruments get added to the mix. I’d rather listen to the unobscured beat running through the verses.
This performance did highlight the reason I think Exile is as big as they are – they are less a group of musicians and more of a spectacle. Only two guys in the group do anything remotely musical (the two lead singers), everyone else shows up looking good and dances around. Like AKB48, this band’s live show barely pays any attention to the music instead focusing on blowing people away with visuals…in there case dancing. Even more so than AKB48, though, this entertain first, music later mindset makes sense – Exile’s songs could be raffled off to any other J-Pop singer with a great voice and they’d sound exactly the same. The group has two great singers but the real attractions the dancing and the choreography. Another reminder of Japan’s emphasis on outright entertainment.
Winner Of The Week – A surprisingly solid week as most of the songs were pretty middle-of-the-road. Ai Otsuka takes it, though, with her cut-above-the-rest vocals and chorus, rising above grungy guitars to still end up a good single.
A little YouTubing also reveals a song called “Strawberry Jam” that originally drew me in because…well, you can figure it out. Turns out it’s a nice, cheerful pop tune loaded with horns!
